An Ode to The Long Island Railroad

Yesterday, I bought my last monthly Long Island Railroad pass.


For the last time, I put my credit card into a machine and left with a tiny piece of paper and $254 dollars poorer. Seriously, friends...$254! Every month! So annoying, LIRR, SO ANNOYING.

The $254 is not the only annoying thing about the LIRR, though. Sometimes, the people who check your tickets are really cranky and say things like "Hey you!". A lot of times it is so crowded you can not get a seat and have to stand the entire 55 minutes to Penn Station. The heat is sometimes on when it is 80 degrees but not on when it is 32 degrees.

And once, Stephanie and I spent almost 5 hours on a LIRR train. In Jamaica, Queens. With NYPD officers in the terminal because they actually thought the passengers were going to riot. Literally riot, friends! The people on the train in front of us were prying the doors of the train open, jumping out and walking back to Jamaica Station on the tracks! Unsafe people...totally unsafe!

But starting June 4th, no more LIRR for me!

I am fully aware that by writing this excited post about my soon to be only subway commute that the LIRR gods with probably punish me with a freak snow storm or lightening strike. But I say to hell with them!

LIRR I WILL NOT MISS YOU AND I WILL SPEND THAT $254 ON HAPPY HOURS AND MANICURES.

Or most likely, I will put it in the wedding account...but let's pretend I'm getting drunk manicures instead, OK? OK!

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