Miscellany from My iPhone

One of my least favorite things about living in Brooklyn (after kids on scooters) is the grocery shopping. The stores are always crowded and John always wants to split up which I hate because he always forgets things and also I can never locate him after we leave each other to "get out of the store faster." Which inevitably means we are there longer and I am sweating upon our exit because I think he's been kidnapped. A grown man. Kidnapped. From a grocery store in Park Slope. In my head, we're instantly in the movie Taken, John is a victim of human trafficking and I am going to have to carry our groceries home alone.

The savior in this situation is not is not Liam Neeson but Fairway. A heavenly store located in Red Hook with a produce section that has grapes (WHERE ARE THE GRAPES PARK SLOPE GROCERY STORES) and prepared foods that you can take to your Aunts' house for the 4th of July of Labor Day! AND A PARKING LOT.

It was totally put out of business by Hurricane Sandy but AMEN BABY JESUS the store is opening again on Friday. I will buy a million grapes in celebration and also some buffalo chicken salad. But not this weekend because John and I have to go to Pennsylvania for Pre-Cana. More on that later.

Is new mulch not the smelliest thing in the world? I'm pretty positive my Mom told me she loves the smell of new mulch but it actually makes me want to vomit. Sorry if that's graphic, but seriously. It is the worst.

I left work last night and it was still light out! And the sun was shining beautifully even though it rained all day and made my hair ugly. Ignore my finger in the upper left corner, I was in a hurry.

My Mom is going to read this post and tell me I copped out because there are so many pictures and such little substance. You should know that Mim fell in her poop last night. That should get me off the hook for the lack of substance.

More meaty posts soon, I promise!

Here Are Some Pictures of Our Cats

I feel like we've been lacking cat pictures on the blog lately! So here you go, you're welcome.

This is Dilly on our kitchen stool. She thinks she's a person and wants to participate when we have friends over.

This is me and Mim after I accidentally drank three glasses of wine at Happy Hour last Friday and instantly got intoxicated (also the wine was $3.50 a glass, I love you New York). Obviously since John wasn't home when I got there, I took pictures with the cats instead. After I took out my contacts and put on my pajamas at 8:20PM. I have priorities, guys.

This is Dilly waiting for me after I took a shower last week. She's mad at me because I wouldn't let her in the bathroom. PRIVACY, Dilly. PRIVACY!

This is not Dilly or Mim. This is a crazy yarn cat that I saw at the Lion Brand Yarn Studio a few weeks ago. I love that place, but seriously Yarn Studio employees. This is a lot...even for me, a lover of cat and yarn.

Squirrels in My Car

My car battery was super dead on Saturday when we tried to take my car to shopping in Long Island (Target with a parking lot oh how I have missed you!). We decided not to deal with it then, so yesterday I woke up and called AAA.

The woman who helped me on the phone told me that the guys would be to my car in 15 minutes so John and I threw on real clothes and ran around the corner. The AAA guys were unbelievably helpful.

They ran some super serious diagnostics and then told me that there was no saving the battery but that they would replace it for me for $149! Great, sir. Honestly, I would have given them $700 if it meant that they would do it then and there. Take note, AAA.

After they replaced the battery, the guy told me to come look at some things to keep an eye on. Blah, blah, blah something about my alternator, blah, blah, blah, there is squirrel poop under your hood. Say again, sir?

What's that you say, blog readers? You don't believe me? Well you're welcome I took pictures.

Car owners beware! When its cold, rodents and vermin climb under your car's hood and warm themselves up/poop everywhere. Richard, the AAA guy, told us that once he got dispatched to a car near Prospect Park that hadn't been turned on in six months (alternate side parking tickets?). When they opened the hood to jump the battery, there was a giant pile of leaves and a POSSUM JUMPED OUT OF THE LEAVES. IT HAD CONSTRUCTED A NEST UNDER THE HOOD.

So gross. Can't deal. Vermin poop in my car. Happy Monday.

Restaurant Recommendation: Barboncino Neapolitan Pizza & Bar

Restaurant recommendation time, friends!

Barboncino: Neapolitan Pizza and Bar
781 Franklin Avenue
Crown Heights

We went for brunch with friends over the weekend and it was great. I highly recommend the breakfast pizza (the pancetta or vegetarian special option) and the Nutella calzone. Which, if I'm making recommendations to the people of Barboncino, I'd say that these could be smaller (I mean seriously guys, it is so big!).

Also, if you have a big group, ask to sit at the table by the window! The lighting is great and you can convince your fiance to take pictures with you!

A Very Romantic Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day was MIGHTY romantic for me and John, let me tell you!

We went with a bunch of our friends to see our most musical friend, Jared, conduct a concert at the New York Bar Association! I've seen Jared be very musical a lot (operas during college, guys. So many operas) but I've never seen his face while he conducts! He is so serious and he makes all of those people sing at the same time!

Its basically magic.

And when we got home to Brooklyn we went to the diner for a milkshake (for me) and a cheeseburger (for John). Hope your love day was wonderful!

Wednesday Wonderings: Am I Breaking My Ears?

These are my headphones.

When I go into the cold (my house to the outside, the subway to the street) my headphones click...kind of painfully? Also they are static-y but works than static? Less than two seconds of aggressive static and painful clicking.

Am I making myself deaf? More importantly why don't I just take them out when I'm changing temperatures?

DIY Instagram Photo Magnets

Sometimes I feel like I all of my pictures (and memories) are trapped inside my phone. This results in not having enough photos in our house. I figured our refrigerator was as good a place to start as any!

I love, love, love Stickygrams but I think they are too tiny and also they are super expensive! I decided to try to make my own instead. Here's what you'll need to make your own!

1. The free app Printicular (and the pictures you get printed)
2. Cardstock
3. Glue stick (the super sticky kind)
4. Scissors
5.  Magnet tape

Let's talk about Printicular. Its fantastic! The prints are 4"x4" and they only cost 39 cents each and they print in less than one hour at Walgreens.

Pick up your pictures, cut your cardstock into 4"x4" pieces and glue it to the back of your pictures. Stick some magnet tape onto the back of those suckers and VOILA! Giant Instagram photo magnets!

The whole project cost me $17 and I got 22 magnets. I still have plenty of glue, cardstock and magnet tape left to make at least a dozen more (which I plan on making this week).

Happy crafting!

Nemo Weekend and So Much Television!

This weekend was exactly perfect.

Do you ever have a weekend when you feel like if you were any more relaxed you might actually melt into a pile of sweatpants and slippers? That's how I felt this weekend.

I evacuated my office at 2:30 on Friday because the whole world was turning to ice? When I got home I  watched all of the episodes of 1600 Penn that are on Hulu (the whole season, its adorable and I highly recommend it) and then I accidentally took a two hour nap. When I woke up, John had carnitas made AND he was making guacamole. I attempted to help make it but then I cut my finger and gave up.

We watched the rest of the episodes of Homeland (holy good god car bomb SORRY SPOILERS!) and then we went to sleep!

On Saturday morning I made pancakes out of bananas (recipe to come)  while John shoveled the sidewalk and then we watched a million episodes of House of Cards. Do you watch? Ugh you must, it is fantastically wonderful. I crocheted a ton (two baby blankets, SO MANY BABIES) and then we went to Happy Hour and had friends over for dinner.

Sunday was grocery shopping and more House of Cards and crocheting and OH aren't we the most exciting couple in the world? We ate English muffin pizzas for two meals this weekend and for the first time in the entire eight months we've lived here we did not go out to eat! On Saturday OR Sunday! NOT EVEN BAGELS. Guys, it was a gigantically huge money conservation step for us. I was pretty impressed.

Also, we watched all 13 episodes of House of Cards. I'm a little embarrassed about it, but you must watch it immediately.

Happy Monday to YOU!

Park Slope Bingo Club: A Recap

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT of Park Slope Bingo Club: you do not get paint pens. You get wood boards with pushover markers. Its a total bummer.

The people at Park Slope Bingo were also kind of a lot.

When I was in college there was a group of theater kids who would sing Rent songs in one of the dining halls.* Every day. Or it seemed like every day? Some days it was awesomely awesome. Like lunch time on a Wednesday when you soul needed a little Seasons of Love pick me up. There were other days though when it was not so awesome. Like when it was a Monday morning and all you wanted was an iced coffee and a waffle and the rendition of La Vie Boheme literally made you want to cry real tears. The people at Park Slope Bingo Club were very much like the dining hall singers. Especially since there was musical participation.

My advice to you is to be about one hundred times more drunk than we were. Then it will be totally hilarious and fun!

*If you happen to be one of the Rent singers and you're reading this please don't be offended. You guys were great a lot of the time, but some Mama Mia or Phantom of the Opera would have been great, too!

Very Important Questions for You

I woke up yesterday morning with the urge to organize. A nagging, urgent, need to organize everything immediately. This is not usually the way I usually wake up on Monday mornings.

This organizing kick totally supports my New Years goal of getting our house to look the way I want it to look (I maintain that Pinterest gives me unrealistic goals)! And so when I got to work, I organized the giant cabinet above my desk. I organized it like a boss.

My first very important question to you is: is this not the work cabinet of an insane person? Seriously how much water/coffee/tea could I drink in 8 to 10 hours that justifies this amount of accessories?

I kept the organizing kick going once I arrived home. I think I figured out the way for me to be productive after work is to not sit on the couch or eat dinner. Because once either of those things happens, I am done. I tricked myself by making a sweet potato in the oven that took a whole hour to cook! That is 60 minutes for me to accomplish things! My second very important question to you is: do any of you need to trick yourself into doing basic household chores? Being an adult is so hard!

The first step in organizing all of your kitchen cabinets is to accept that you have a problem. See evidence of problem below.

The second step in organizing all of your kitchen cabinets is to take everything out of the cabinets.

The final step is to put everything back in your cabinets BUT NOT EVERYTHING! Seriously, throw some shit out! For example stale pretzels or empty boxes of popcorn (SERIOUSLY John, I don't know if you're reading but EMPTY THINGS DO NOT GO BACK IN THE CABINET).

My final very important question to you is: why are cabinets so deep? Seriously I am only 5'2 and I have appropriately proportioned arms. I cannot reach all the way in the back of the cabinets! This is a waste of space cabinet designers! Fix it, please!

TADA! Organized kitchen cabinets! Also one of the most mundane posts I'v ever written?

Isn't This What You Do on A Saturday Night?

All in all, this weekend's wedding planning went better than expected!

John wants to be best friends with the priest who is marrying us AND I did not cry in our floral consultation on Sunday (she's sending us an estimate on Tuesday though, so let's see what happens).

What I would really like to share with you all though, is the fact that I am insane and my Mom enables my insanity. Backstory: I joined a group at work called the Naughty Knitters (SO dorky, right?). The basic premise is that they give us yarn and we make scarves and blankets for charitable organizations (I crochet not knit, because I have zero patience for the knitting). I'm making a baby blanket and I'd like it to be done by our next meeting this Friday (because I thrive under a self-imposed deadline for a hobby that is supposed to be relaxing). Needless to say, I was crocheting all weekend...see that pink think under all that crap? That's it!

Anyway, my Mom and I were sitting at the kitchen table on Saturday (because they are getting all new furniture and wood floors and there was nowhere else to sit) having a cup of tea and crocheting. Do do do crocheting along. Then I reached into my project bag to get my next skein of yarn and realized that I had a little bit of leftover teal yarn from the last scarf I made!

Obviously seeing this leftover yarn made me think making pom poms at 11:45 on a Saturday was a great idea! Because I saw them on Pinterest and they looked adorable. And my Mom didn't say "let's go to bed," she said "let me see those instructions, make sure you get the sharp scissors."

Before I knew it the kitchen table looked like this...

Perusers of Pinterest take note that if you use a regular size fork, the pom poms come out itty bitty. I would recommend using a serving fork or if your Mom is on board, her hand!

The blue one is the first one we did and it came out kind of pathetic. I love, love, love yarn pom poms and don't tell John but I might make thousands of them and put them everywhere in our home. Do you think he'll mind?

Also this weekend I had to sleep in my sister's room because there are new wood floors going in upstairs and my room was filled with everyone else's bedroom possessions (read: collectable Barbies all over my bed, thanks Alyssa). Because Alyssa's shelves were empty (read: naked of collectable Barbies), obviously I put Mim on them.

And with that, Happy Monday!

The End.