Loud Kissing Couple You Are Real Annoying

Sometimes, I see the same people on my commute. The girl with the pretty jet black hair and awesome boots on my 45 minute train ride, the nurse with the fun clogs on my subway sometimes, the bald man who kind of reminds me of my uncle. All seemingly nice people. People who I don't mind sharing my commute with, exchanging "Have a nice weekend" on Fridays.

But two weeks ago, a new duo appeared of my E train every morning and good lord they are annoying. How annoying you ask? So annoying that today, after two weeks of giving them dirty looks and sighing very loudly in their presence, I walked back an extra car so I didn't have to witness their ickiness at 8:15am. But really, it could be noon or 8pm, they would still be super annoying and icky.

Let me set the scene for you, friends.

The duo is comprised of a man and woman, lets call them James and Jane* (they just look to me like they would have totally boring names). They appear next to me on the platform and they are tall. Like the jolly-green giant of couples. Which, because I am short (5'1 if I stand up straight) they have the ability to loom totally over my head, hovering above me with their annoying-ness. They are snuggling into each other's necks and they are whispering about something which must be adorable and or hilarious because they are both giggling...at 8:15am

And then? AND THEN FRIENDS they get on the subway with me and they kiss loudly. And I don't mean pecks. And I don't mean making out. I mean a deadly combination of the two: wet, loud, gag inducing (for me) kisses. Gross. Period, end of story right?

No friends. Not end of story. Because let us not forget where I am witnessing this horrid display of affection. The New York City Subway, where sometimes I don't even want to breathe, let alone open my mouth and exchange salvia with my travel companion. For two weeks saliva happy James and Jane have made out above my head in a very crowded E train.

And today I said no more! No more, icky couple, no more! So I walked to the next car and stood next to a very handsome man in a suit the three stops to my station. Happy Friday to me!

*I would like to apologize to my friend James, WHO I CALL JIMMY, for accidentally offending him. James-es of the world, please accept my heartfelt apology. 

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