Bullet Proof Vests, Vacuum Cleaners and Bingo with A Drag Queen

This weekend was really one for the books in terms of hilarity.

On Saturday night we slept at John's Aunt and Uncle's house. Uncle Paul happens to work in law enforcement and happened to have a bullet proof vest hanging in the guest room where we were sleeping. Did you know that bullet proof vets are not knife proof? They're not! I would definitely want the bullet proof/knife proof combo situation (does that even exist?) but I guess the bullet proof one was okay to use while pretending to fight crime in their living room.

On Sunday I got into an epic battle with our vacuum cleaner. John had gone to his last day of work on a production of Parade that he was doing so I decided to turn on some Call the Midwife and start cleaning our house in preparation for Sidesmas (which is this weekend!). We have this dust that we use on our carpets that gets all the cat hair up and makes the whole house smell great (its most definitely full of chemicals, but I'll do anything to make our house smell like clean linen). Anyway, I put the cats in the bathroom and threw the dust all over the carpet. I waited 25 minutes, I turned on the vacuum and proceeded to watch as our fancy vacuum blew the dust all over the place. Which is exactly the opposite of what a vacuum is supposed to do. 

I Googled our vacuum (obviously) and read 3 step by step tutorials and watched three videos on how to take it apart and fix it. I got the thing totally apart, cleaned it all out, cried while Joe died from the ulcers on his leg (you kill me, Call the Midwife) and then prepared to put the whole thing back together. Except I couldn't get the head to re-attach. I tried for a full hour and I will not lie to you: I cursed and cried and yelled and then gave up in an exhausted heap. 

Then Becca came over and tried. And tried and tried. And we watched another video. We gave up after I used her hand held dustbuster to get most of it up (a good friend will bring you their dustbuster in an emergency). John came home four hours later and got it together with one firm push. I was never more thrilled and more enraged in my entire life. 

See all the dust? 
After giving up on the vacuum, Becca and I went out to dinner and then met two of our friends at Ginger's for happy hour drinks and some Bingo with a Drag Queen Host. We started the evening with a blue shot (because why not on a Sunday night) and some ciders. 

Before Bingo started, we thought it would be a good idea to get double Gin and Tonics and to tell the man running the show that sure, I would make the lights flicker when someone won and of course Veronica would ring the bell. 

I have a somewhat crippling fear in Bingo (and really all luck drawn games...I'm a mess during a raffle) that I will think I have won, but then have my card check will have not won. And then everyone will think I'm a big, fat cheater and jeer (totally rational, I know). Its a lot of pressure and frankly, I prefer not to win. But YAY Becca won! That was fun enough for me, I think. We yelled and screamed and flickered the lights and she got a picture with a super pretty Drag Queen named Lola that I can't find anywhere. HOORAY BINGO!

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