No Flesh Colored Penis Straws, Please!

When my sister asked me what I wanted for my Bachelorette party I told her I didn't want anything too trashy, I didn't want to go to a club (strip or dancing) and I didn't want any, any, ANY flesh colored penis straws. I also told her that I wanted absolutely everything to be a surprise (suddenly I love surprises, I don't know who I've turned into).

On the morning of my Bachelorette party, I woke up at 9:30AM and walked in the hallway upstairs. No sooner had I stepped out of our bedroom than everyone (who had apparently arrived while I was asleep and were let in by Alyssa who came the night before) downstairs screamed "DO NOT LOOK DOWN HERE". I listened (fearing for my life, as they sounded very serious) and proceeded to take a shower and then lay in my bed to watch Parks and Rec on my computer (I finally finished all of the seasons and oh my goodness, I love that show!).

Before we proceed with this story, I'd like to highlight this photo. This is Alyssa's best friend Kinzie who came with Alyssa to my house the night before. She is hilarious and encourages me to drink more than I should and reminds me that I am 26 and not 80...seriously. Also she is a really good sport. Evidence: Alyssa put Mim in bed with her.

Thirty minutes before we were scheduled to leave, I was brought a bagel with cream cheese, a hot pink sash, a penis whistle (seriously) and I think a gallon sized mimosa. I was then instructed that I would be blindfolded and led out of my home in half an hour and that I should get out of bed and maybe put some make up on.

Those of you who have been to my home know how challenging my stairs are to walk down not blindfolded. For those of you who haven't been to my home first of all you should come over. Second, imagine a twisty kind of crooked stairwell with a not terribly helpful banister. Also, Dilly's favorite activity is to run in front of you while you are walking down the stairs. She is the worst and I swear is not so secretly trying to kill me. 

We successfully made it out of the house and proceeded to start our journey to an unknown destination. I started to get a little nervous on the subway about where we were headed and none of the girls were particularly helpful in calming me down. "We are going to a class where you will get something to take home!" giggle, giggle, giggle, they kept saying. We got off the subway at 23rd Street and started walking east.

Suddenly we were in front of the Museum of Sex Shop. I nearly DIED as we waiting across the street for the light. "We're here!" everyone started yelling.

Thankfully we kept right on walking and arrived at an Art Studio called Paint NYC! Which was literally exactly what I wanted! There was more drinking and snacks that the girls brought and general silliness.

Here's the two best things about this class:
1. It was idiot proof. See my painting? I can't even draw a puppy for the little girl I babysit (she's always a really good sport about it) but I made that vase full of flowers AND the vase that it is sitting on!
2. We weren't the only ones there. There was a woman dressed for the gym in her early thirties and a couple who I'm pretty sure were either on a first or second (awkward) date. And then us, a group of 9 slightly drunk girls laughing girls.

Look! you can see the awkward couple! I'm almost positive they hated us.

Perhaps the most entertaining part about this entire event was that I drank out of this riducously sized cup. Seriously it was as big as my head. The teacher, who is an actual art teacher in a school, did not even blink when she saw it. In fact, I'm nearly positive she asked me if I needed more wine when she gave me more pink paint.

Take aways from our day time Bachelorette activity:
1. I highly recommend it
2. Wine makes everything more funny
3. My sister and friends plan literally the best Bachelorette parties ever and this was only the day time! Stay tuned!

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